Dear new member, 
 
Welcome! Congratulations on getting baptized. A new path awaits as new horizons come into view. As you walk... 
 
Please remember that each of God\'s children are walking their own individual paths to become closer to Heavenly Father at their own pace.  
You\'ve had a spiritual growth spurt and might feel temporarily ahead of your husband. That\'s okay. Have patience and remember Paul\'s admonition for wives to respect their husbands. That means now, as they are, even in their imperfectness.  
 
Your husband will be open to the spirit if he can see the fruit of it in you. If he sees disrespect, callousness, and condemnation and judgement, he\'ll turn cold and you\'ll both suffer. 
 
Here is a quote of regret from an abandoned wife whose contempt for her husband she made quite public: \"When my husband failed the children, failed to have scripture study, failed to be spiritual, failed to lead as he should, I wish I had completely trusted God and maintained unity, honor, reverence, and submission with a glad and trusting heart. I wish I had kept the children honoring him and praying for their dad instead of allowing my martyred attitude to manifest itself so openly.\" 
 
Remember Nephi\'s example of honoring his father\'s role at a time he wasn\'t acting quite honorable.  
 
Heavenly Father\'s glory is in family unity, not family destruction. Treat your husband like the potential priesthood holder he is, and he will be more likely to become one. Judge him as someone who is keeping you from your spiritual progress and he will become one. 
 
I have never been in favor of a wife joining the church on her own without her husband by her side, or at least without his full unbending approval and support. We believe in the family unit remaining intact forever, and if postponing baptism for the wife to keep the family intact until the husband is on board is what is required to keep the family together, than I am all for it. Shame on anyone who believes church membership should go above family love and relationships! Priorities: 1 God 2 Family 3 Religion 
 
This is not a numbers game. Being baptized now or later will not change the place of one\'s heart concerning God, for it is only an outward sign of an inward commitment. The wife can follow the gospel reverently and privately on her own until her husband\'s heart is ready to receive. Condescending judgement to a husband yet to be converted goes against every scripture on the family I have ever read.  
 
Missionaries should be cautioned about situations where potential marriage ruptures could occur because of wives being baptized without their husband\'s approval, it goes against the Godly order of the home and has the potential to wreck havoc in the work of making families eternal. It is a different story when it is the husband being baptized, for he is the head of the home and the priesthood holder. Evenso, missionaries should be counseled to be patient until both spouses are in agreement and can be baptized together, remaining the helpmeets they were created to be towards one another. This is the harmonious way to go about spiritual growth and progress. 
 
What to do? Remain open and respectful, remember the wonderful honorable things of your great husband and tell him so, and SHOW him through your actions, how the love of Heavenly Father is changing your life. And please, avoid thoughts like the one mentioned above, it will get you nowhere but into a broken marriage as a consequence of matriarchal control. 
 
 
With Concern, 
 
A Friend whose been down that road you\'re tempted to take, dealt with the consequences, and had to rewire her thinking from Women\'s lib to the Godly order of the home and is now thriving...

Hi, 
 
My husband IS a member, but chooses to remain inactive. I have a bit of advice that has come from conflicting with him about this.  
 
1. If you have children, be aware that you cannot be sealed to the children without their father. I have tried to figure this out and work it another way and have found that 1 year after the death of the last person to be sealed in the family, proxies can receive ordinances on behalf of the deceased. (He may have changed his mind on the other side and decide to accept Jesus Christ and the Church.)  
 
2. If you are without children, my advice is to keep on believing. If he makes comments about you going to church, visiting teaching visits, etc. try not to let it get under your skin. Stay very close to the bishopric in your ward and your relief society sisters. 
 
I am very aware of the pain and anxiety that this situation can cause. Read your scriptures and look for comfort and guidance from the Savior. 
 
 
May God bless you, 
Susan

Although I do agree with many of your comments I do have to disagree about a couple of things. 
 
First, delaying your baptism for perpetuity is not the right choice. I think the Lord will certainly understand delaying for a period of time to help one's spouse along. However, baptism is not just an outward sign - it is also a covenant we make with Our Heavenly Father. 
 
Secondly, as it relates to priorities - yes family is extremely important - however, our allegiance/loyalty to Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is pre-eminent. A couple of quotes: 
 
- Matthew 10:35,37 
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.  
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 
 
- Also from a talk that Elder and Sister Bateman gave at BYU in Sep 2001 says: "The decision regarding one's spouse is the second-most important decision in life. It is second only to the decision to follow Christ" 
 
I'm assuming that we both agree that following Jesus Christ and Our Heavenly Father is the most important thing we as individuals can do. Without that we cannot build eternal families. So keeping Heavenly Father's commandments, which includes baptism, is more important than our spouse and family. Sometimes people have to make those choices, but following Our Heavenly Father is ultimate best choice.

My husband will NEVER join the church. He has made that very clear hundreds of times. I am falling away....the pain of losing my kids for eternity kills me. It is easier to stay away from church. I made my bed my marring a non member...now I am suffering for it. We have tons of marriage problems. my (member) family wants me to divorce him. I have come close so many times. My kids are "churched out". Between his church and my church, they don't want anything to do with church anymore. I know what you are going to tell me...and it is not going to help