Deana~ 
 
I too had this same problem with my husbands family. When I married this wonderful man I was not aware of the baggage that came with that decision. I was faced with stanch Catholic inlaws that didn't even acknowledge we were even married. For many years I lived under the scrutany of his mother and many well meaning aunts, uncles, brother/sister in laws etc... And like you it always seemed they would wait until he was out of the room to quietly "knife" me to death with their snide comments and ridicule. It really took a toll on our marriage for quite some time until I realized...like an epiphany...I don't have to do this! Originally I would get hurt and run to my husband with their comments which of course they either denied all together or attributed to my easily hurt feelings or my inability to discern sarcasm....whatever! Finally, I realized this...when the ridicule starts flying, I walk away or excuse myself to the bathroom or I go for a car ride. You see where this is going? They can only offend you if you choose to be offended. If you walk away, you leave them quarrelling with themselves and if your mind is at peace with your decision it allows you a little peace of mind and it allows your husband a little too since you won't be asking why he doesn't just stay glued to your side or defend you once in a while. It's worked for me now for twenty years and counting...of course in our situation, we are now both Mormon converts. Finally, my husband is having to learn this very same lesson in dealing not only with my family but also with his own. Best wishes to you!! Just make decisions that effect you and your husband and don't worry about the rest of them. They'll get it or they wont....it really doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of your relationship unless you allow it to cause a rift between the two of you.